Ok I finally decided to start my blog again. Not that I had a regular habit of writing blogs, but I had made an attempt and like the 80% of the people who started writing blogs I too stopped. I promise myself this time to be more regular. But then are promises made to break?
Sometime back I was reading “The Zeher” by Paulo Coelho. The book by itself is pretty mundane and a bit boring too. Nothing compared to “The Alchemist”. But he explains this concept of “Favor Bank”. An amazing concept I felt. The following is an extract from that novel
‘I start making deposits in your accounts – not cash deposits, you understand, but contacts. I introduce you to such and such a person; I arrange a few deals, as long as they’re legal. You know that you owe me something, but I never ask you for anything.’
‘And then one day....’
‘Exactly. One day, I’ll ask you for a favor and you could, of course say “No”, but you’re conscious of being in my debt. You do what I ask, I continue to help you, and other people see that you’re decent, loyal sort of person and so they too make deposits in your account – always in the form of contacts and nothing else. They too one day will ask you for a favor and you will respect and help the people who have helped you, and, in time you’ll spread your net worldwide, you’ll know everyone you need to know and your influence will keep on growing.’
‘I could refuse to do what you ask me to do.’
‘You could. The favor bank is a risky investment, just like any other bank. You refuse to grant the favor I asked you, in the belief that I helped you because you deserved to be helped, because you’re the best and everyone should automatically recognize your talent. Fine, I say thank you very much and ask someone else into whose account I’ve also made various deposits; but from then on, everyone know, without me having to say a word, that you are not to be trusted.’
I work with a startup company in its early growth stages. I have seen from the people who have started it, as to how important is such an account.
Each of us should consciously make an effort to help and promote friends and people we know. It’s very important to help as many people as possible when you are in a situation to do so. You never know when you will need their help. I have know people who think twice before helping their know ones, just because they feel that they may become more successful than themselves. (You may call me rude but I conciously make an effort never to help them. I hate such people.)But that’s not the case, that’s not reality, by helping out people we grow and succeed, more than they do, and also the sense of satisfaction you get by doing so is just amazing.
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10 comments:
the intention seems fine...
Ritu - this is what I have seen and feel on this:
Yes help everyone - but not with an intent that someday you may need their help. Because when you do that - your intent comes thru in your action. If you do help them and then ask them to help you sometime later - then that is incidental. But then again in the later context - if the person doesn't help - don't end up saying "I helped you then ....why aren't you helping me now" (actually this is easier said than done - because we end up more often doing that).
Also while helping we must ensure that it is not at our own cost.(end of bhashan ;-))
Kavi - Thanks for commenting :)
I agree with you that we should not be helping others with the intent of getting back their help someday. But I feel if someone asks our help who’s help we have taken.. it becomes our moral responsibility to help them out. There is a lot of difference between "I can't help" and "I couldn’t help". What’s important is the latter one. I would expect a person to at least try and put in his efforts to help. Because of legitimate reasons he might have not succeeded. That’s fine. But he has tried – and that matters. And that’s what the least everyone should do.
Regarding the second point about protecting our interests.. that too is right. But again its reciprocal. If someone has gone out of his way to help me out during my crisis, I too would do the same – irrespective of my interests.
Please continue posting your comments.. thanks again :)
Ritu,
Donno if you have seen the Kannada movie 'Runa' by Puttanna Kanagal. It was actually a movielet(a very small movie) and part of the trilogy called Katha Sangama. In it a rich man comes to a college lecturer's house asking him to 'pass' his son and in turn offers to bribe him. The college lecturer out right refuses. During the conversation at the lecturers house - the lecturers son suddenly falls ill and has to be rushed to the hospital. The rich man offers to take him by his car. The lecturer refuses the help and he goes out to find an auto. But by the time he finds the auto - the rich man would have taken the kid by his car, got him treated and brought back home with some fruits. The climax of the movie is when the rich man says that he didn't help with the intent that the lecturer would be obligated to pass his son - but he helped simply because he wanted to help and he had the means to help. - Rajiv
Also helping has two natures. When you help another person who is doing something wrong - then the concept of obligation does not hold good. You should not expect the person to help you back as you are equally sharing in his guilt.
-Kavi
Hey,
IMHO,the intention should be to help the other person,without expecting more returns from the person :) since when you build expectations there is a guarantee that the other person won't fulfill the expectation.
One thing I would agree(wrt your article),helping(or in more polished words you can say "Networking") is important in case of startups since "The network of entrepreneurs helps them to market their product during the bootstrapping phase and the time when the idea is getting germinated into a product :)"
Last but not the least "Do favour to get favour but don't expect favour :)"...A slight line of difference between these statements .
-Himanshu
Probably the way i wrote didnt put my idea properly. As Himanshu said.. by "help" i was referring to professional help. Kavi and Rajiv - you point of helping people when they are in need is wonderful and all of us should aim to be like that.
I strongly agree with you guys.
The inspiration to write this blog was comment about people who dont see the bigger picture, who are afraid to help people, who think that by helping people they will be out grown. Instead by doing so(not helping) these people will never become complete human beings. All through their life they will never grow, nor will enjoy the success of other people.
Hi ritz
good to see u back in the blogosphere...hope you will b more frequent this time arnd.
When you say that people do not want to help others because they fear the person they helping mu be more succesful than them, it could be also because they fear that people will not understand the power of sharing, they will tend to see that you think you better than them or know better than them. They can feel frustrated and not even want to listnen to the help and support you giving them. But if they used he favor bank belief and it change their life they would embrace and be a part of th favor bank.
Tell me how the favor bank is helping you achieve your success? Do you think we should help someone without any intenion of having this help returned when needed? I think nothing is free, even in the favor bank. The contacts in the favor bank need to build interest just as the saving account in the formal bank. I believe that in order to succeed one should give in order to receive, but should not give it for free.
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