It is the courage to fight that matters

The following article was posted by E.R. RAMACHANDRAN on Churumuri. This is the unedited version of the original post. You can also read the original post here.

This is a story of a wonderful lady Suma. Marva Collins once said "Determination and perseverance move the world" and the proof for that -

As she ran along the pathway in the Glass House of Lalbagh, Suma was joy personified. Her eyes glistened as she chased the butterflies swirling in the morning sun. Sudhir and Sushila had taken their three-year-old daughter on a picnic before Sudhir, an officer in the merchant navy, would sail again.

That night, though, Suma fell ill. Probably the early-morning breeze, thought Sushila, but her temperature wouldn’t come down. Suma kept rubbing her eyes as she felt itchy.

The following morning they took her to the Agarwal Eye Hospital. Within an hour, the doctors diagnosed it as Retino Blastoma—cancer of the eye. Within minutes, the young couple heard the bad news: they would have to remove Suma’s left eye.

Is this really happening to us, wondered Sushila, as she saw her young daughter’s face swathed in bandage.

The doctors also suggested that if possible Suma should be taken abroad immediately for treatment so that the infection didn’t spread to the other eye. An ophthalmic research institute in Frankfurt was doing pioneering research on preventive aspects of infection. After hectic calls to Sushila’s cousin Vimala in Germany, the family boarded the flight to Frankfurt.

“Just in time,” was the reaction of doctors who made sure the infection wouldn’t spread. But a day prior to their departure to Bombay, tragedy struck again; Suma’s surviving eye became itchy and doctors asked Sudhir and Sushila to sign the papers to remove her right eye. They also removed the optical nerve to save the child’s life.

A gale had hit a small boat sailing in serene waters. In just two weeks, life had turned topsy-turvy for Sudhir and Sushila. The apple of their eye, born normal, had lost her sight in front of their eyes.

***

The initial years were hellish for Sushila. With Sudhir away for long periods, she had to combat the terrible fate that had befallen them on her own. A bright, chirpy Suma had turned into a lifeless object staring into dark vacant space.

Instead of indulging in self-pity, Sushila decided to face the world with all the courage she could muster. She was determined not to send Suma to a blind school. She got her admitted to a Mahila Seva Samaja. “We will bring up her up as normally as possible,” she would tell Sudhir who marveled at his wife’s fighting spirit.

Suma turned out to be a bright kid; she could grasp lessons quickly. Sushila would read her stories and made her repeat the same. Radio became her friend and later, a trusted ally. She listened avidly to the programmes on BBC for hours and learnt to differentiate the newsreaders through their voice.

It’s a nightmare for blind students taking public exams. Sushila had to go all over the town to get ‘writers’ who would write out the answer papers dictated by her visually challenged daughter. There were times when, with just couple of days to go for an exam, she was still frantically searching for writers.

Suma did her class X and got a first class in her BSc.

When she wanted to study management, Sudhir wanted her to join the Tata Institute of Social Sciences in Bombay and stay at his sister’s place. But Suma had secured admission to a school in Surrey, England. “Please spend the money on my studies which you would have otherwise incurred on my marriage,” she pleaded with her tearful parents.

Finally Suma went to England. For someone who had not stepped out of her house without an escort, she changed planes and landed at her college all by herself.

Her roommate was Maria, a West Indian. During weekend breaks, she went to Frankfurt to meet her aunt, alone.

She called BBC and reminisced about their earlier newscasters and mimicked their style of reading news. They were so delighted they called her over to Bush House for tea and asked her to participate in a talk show.

***

Sudhir, having retired from service, often worried about Suma’s future. In three months their daughter would be back. Then what? How would she find life here after studies are over, he wondered.

***

One day, when their TV went blank, Suma and Maria called the TV repair service. A bright young man came and found some components had conked out. He brought the parts and repaired the set. The girls thanked him and invited him to have their afternoon tea with them. Next day he came again and serviced their radio set free of charge.

John Beachcom ran a modest business of an electronic repair service in and around Surrey.

The girls once invited him for lunch at the canteen but decided to cook in their room itself. John joined them in cooking and it turned out he was a better cook than the girls!

The girls graduated with first class and celebrated with John joining them.

When John proposed to Suma that evening, she was speechless. Maria, to whom John had earlier confided his liking for Suma, urged her to consider his proposal. Suma wanted John to talk to Sushila and Sudhir and take their approval first.

Suma bade goodbye to Maria, John and England, and returned to Bangalore alone.

The marriage took place in Jayanagar. John’s mother Michelle, his aunt Clara, and Maria came with John sporting a Mysore peta at the brief wedding ceremony.

For sometime Suma worked in a management firm in Surrey with a guide dog, a golden retriever, accompanying her. Now Suma and John have two children, both boys, Shankar and Chris. Sudhir and Sushila visited them and spent some time in their new house. John has expanded his business into computers. The family came to Mysore for a brief visit last year.

As the kids created havoc at the childrens’ corner at Cheluvamba Park, I could see their mother smile through her eyes.

"Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young"

The video below is the musical version of "Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young" written by Mary Schmich, sung by Baz Luhrmann. I had first seen these wonderful video when i was in pre university college. Recently came across this, in one of my friend's orkut video list. It is amazing, worth a watch.

Deepavalli Celebrations!!!

From Deepavali

The ultimate survival tips for a software coolie :)

Found his very interesting slide show... created by someone at iim Kolkata..

Prof. Randy Pauch’s “Last” Speech – “How To Live Your Childhood Dreams”

This is a must watch video – 1hr 44mins of pure inspiration.

Dr Randy Pauch is a Computer Science professor at the Carnegie Mellon University. Everything about this 46 year professor, father of 3 kids look absolutely fine, except that he has pancreatic cancer and he is going to live, just for a few more months.

Wall street journal called it the “THE LECTURE OF A LIFETIME”. The talk filled with humor and enthusiasm lets you doubt, if this man is really going to die in a few days.

In the lecture he talks about his life journey, from his love for stuffed animals, to his passion to work for Disney.

He tells why teaching is the best profession, for him it was a way to “enable the childhood dreams of others” – his students.

If you don’t see this video you will certainly miss something very precious in life, take my word for that. He starts of showing his CT scans, but ends up teaching you how to live your life.

Some of his quotes:

“But remember, the brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”

“And I think that that’s one of the best things you can give somebody – the chance to show them what it feels like to make other people get excited and happy. I mean that’s a tremendous gift.”

“When you’ve had something for ten years that you hold so precious, it’s the toughest thing in the world to hand it over. And the only advice I can give you is, find somebody better than you to hand it to.”

“The best way to teach somebody something is to have them think they’re learning something else.”

“I, like Moses, get to see the promised land, but I won’t get to set foot in it.” – about one of his pet program Alice’s next version which will be released probably a bit too late for him.

“I mean I don’t know how to not have fun. I’m dying and I’m having fun. And I’m going to keep having fun every day I have left. Because there’s no other way to play it.” – this thing brought tears in my eyes.

“How do you get people to help you? You can’t get there alone. People have to help you and I do believe in karma. I believe in paybacks. You get people to help you by telling the truth. Being earnest. I’ll take an earnest person over a hip person every day, because hip is short term. Earnest is long term. Apologize when you screw up and focus on other people, not on yourself.” – this was like god talking to me.

“Remember brick walls let us show our dedication. They are there to separate us from the people who don’t really want to achieve their childhood dreams. Don’t bail. The best of the gold’s at the bottom of barrels of crap.” – as my boss say ‘persistence man persistence, that makes all the difference.’

“When people give you feedback, cherish it and use it. Show gratitude. When I got tenure I took all of my research team down to Disneyworld for a week. And one of the other professors at Virginia said, how can you do that? I said these people just busted their ass and got me the best job in the world for life. How could I not do that?”

“Be good at something, it makes you valuable.”

“Find the best in everybody. One of the things that Jon Snoddy as I said told me, is that you might have to wait a long time, sometimes years, but people will show you their good side. Just keep waiting no matter how long it takes. No one is all evil. Everybody has a good side, just keep waiting, it will come out.”

“It’s not about how to achieve your dreams. It’s about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you.”- this is THE quote.

If you don’t get tears after you see this video I recommend you visit an eye specialist, coz you might be suffering from Keratoconjunctivitis sicca.When I watch something like this I try to analysis my own life. It’s a bad feeling I a getting, I might have just wasted 23 years of my life (my age - 23).

Sorry… which company did you say?

Last week was my cousin sister’s wedding. Oooph it was an experience. I generally like to stay off from marriages/functions unless it involves someone close to me. Else I will end up sitting somewhere giving smiles to unknown people :).

I had a few interesting conversations with people, I think they are worth being put here. I am sure most of us would have come across these conversations - except the last one.

Some aunty/uncle.. especially the aunties (that too a bit aged ones) suddenly pop up from no where and ask me..

“Hey do you know who I am?”

In most cases I put on an embarrassing face indicating I have no idea who they are, but in some case I vaguely guess the place they are from trying to save my face.

I am amazed at how so many people tend to ask to same question to so many people. I think probably, they (atleast a few of them) who ask this question, might also not be sure of who the other person is, to cover this up they ask it.

This one is more funnier:

Again, aunties that too the aged ones love to start a conversation this way –

I had last seen you when you were so small / 10 years back. See how tall you have become now.

Ok that’s a nice way to start a conversation, but come on did they expect me to stay that way itself. Even more funnier was this person, whom I am sure I had meet at some function may be an year back, came and told me the same thing, I though of reminding that person that she/he had told me the same thing when we meet previously.

Also some people say that you have become taller than when I had seen you last. Haha, I haven’t grown an inch in the past 3 years. I can accept if they say i have become fat or thin, but not tall.

This one - is an assault on me :(

After all the initial talk they ask me what I am doing now. The conversation some what continues like this:

I heard you completed your studies, so where are you working now?

To which I reply:

I work with a company called Ty fone:

The first reaction to this is “Sorry.. which company did you say?”

Then I try to explain to them that it’s a small startup located at ITPL.

What the hell, I doubt if some of these people know that people also work at places apart from Infosys, Wipro, Satyam….. Their reaction is as if that, I haven’t got a job in any of these companies and so I am working with this small unknown company. How I wish I could have told them on their face that I rejected a few good offers from these companies and joined here. And if I had actually said that, I wouldn’t be surprised if they would have though that I am mentally instable. The fact that it is located at ITPL, makes them feel that may be it’s a good company (thank god we shifted to ITPL from Marathahalli).

How wonderful it would have been if marriages truly happened in heaven :).

Speak Up!!!

“First they came for the Communists,
and I didn’t speak up,
because I wasn’t a Communist.
Then they came for the Social Democrats,
and I didn’t speak up,
because I wasn’t a Social Democrat.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists,
and I didn’t speak up,
because I wasn’t a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak up,
because I wasn't a Jew,
Then they came for me,
and by that time there was no one
left to speak up for me.”

Pastor Martin Neimoller's – on why we should speak up against injustice even when it don’t really affect us and on the importance of free speech. Neimoller was a Protestant German Christian who had supported Nazis initially but eventually ended up in one of their concentrations camps. He was fortunate enough to have been freed.

"Favor Bank!!!"

Ok I finally decided to start my blog again. Not that I had a regular habit of writing blogs, but I had made an attempt and like the 80% of the people who started writing blogs I too stopped. I promise myself this time to be more regular. But then are promises made to break?

Sometime back I was reading “The Zeher” by Paulo Coelho. The book by itself is pretty mundane and a bit boring too. Nothing compared to “The Alchemist”. But he explains this concept of “Favor Bank”. An amazing concept I felt. The following is an extract from that novel



‘I start making deposits in your accounts – not cash deposits, you understand, but contacts. I introduce you to such and such a person; I arrange a few deals, as long as they’re legal. You know that you owe me something, but I never ask you for anything.’

‘And then one day....’

‘Exactly. One day, I’ll ask you for a favor and you could, of course say “No”, but you’re conscious of being in my debt. You do what I ask, I continue to help you, and other people see that you’re decent, loyal sort of person and so they too make deposits in your account – always in the form of contacts and nothing else. They too one day will ask you for a favor and you will respect and help the people who have helped you, and, in time you’ll spread your net worldwide, you’ll know everyone you need to know and your influence will keep on growing.’

‘I could refuse to do what you ask me to do.’

‘You could. The favor bank is a risky investment, just like any other bank. You refuse to grant the favor I asked you, in the belief that I helped you because you deserved to be helped, because you’re the best and everyone should automatically recognize your talent. Fine, I say thank you very much and ask someone else into whose account I’ve also made various deposits; but from then on, everyone know, without me having to say a word, that you are not to be trusted.’



I work with a startup company in its early growth stages. I have seen from the people who have started it, as to how important is such an account.

Each of us should consciously make an effort to help and promote friends and people we know. It’s very important to help as many people as possible when you are in a situation to do so. You never know when you will need their help. I have know people who think twice before helping their know ones, just because they feel that they may become more successful than themselves. (You may call me rude but I conciously make an effort never to help them. I hate such people.)But that’s not the case, that’s not reality, by helping out people we grow and succeed, more than they do, and also the sense of satisfaction you get by doing so is just amazing.